02/08/2004: "CDex, Friends, and Dilligence"music: MASS Ensemble - Wing Beat, Allen Vizzutti - Notte A Roma, The String Quartet Tribute to Linkin Park Ė Runaway, Destiny's Child - Jumpin Jumpin, Soundgarden - Burden In My Hand, Space - Female of the Species, Nirvana - Come As You Are, Collective Soul - The World I Know, U2 - Beautiful Day
mood: Been better
CDex rules again. I used it long ago to rip my CDs to mp3s, and then I switched to EAC. Then EAC stopped working on my laptop, and I used nothing for a long time. Then I got the latest version of CDEx and it is even better than it was before and it seems to make wonderful rips. Straight to mp3 via lame. And its open source. What more could I want? check it out @ sf.net (sourceforge.net, not to be confused with silverfir.net, although both are worthy projects).
I have some really good friends. In fact, I am amazed by the quality of my friends. You know who you are.
So far I have kept my counterstrike commitment, but Iím not doing so well with the studying commitment. Not enough library time I suppose (none, to be exact). Other commitments are doing even worse. I blame it on my lack of diligence. In my life, when the going gets tough, I have tended to pack up and leave. I was good enough at enough things that I guess nobody noticed. Or if they did notice, they didnít do anything about it. But that is the past, and whatever happened, I have to deal with it now. Iím getting significantly better at facing down irrational fears, although it still takes the active intervention my rational self. My big need right now is to find it within myself to stick to something hard even if the outcome looks less than optimal for me. These two things are related because Ė as far as I know Ė I have always done well in school courses where I tried. However, because I tend to back off from things that arenít looking to end well for me, Iíve never really tried at a course in which I was doing badly. Since it goes both ways, and Iím not really sure which is the cause and which is the effect, or if its some combination Ė but the end result is that I have never really been at risk of putting it all out there and failing in a classroom setting Ė or any other setting for that matter really. Iíve been planning on having this Calculus test change that Ė the first test didnít go so well, so there is a real chance Iíll do badly in the class. And I want to ace it, which is still very possible from a raw points perspective. But Iím having trouble getting into gear of this Ė I have only done homework once. While I am not required to turn the homework in, it is very necessary to do it to get the proficiency needed for tests, which require both accuracy and speed. So unless I actually try here, I will remain uncertain of my ability to excel at school when failure is a real possibility. I will keep you posted.
Otherwise, it was a typical Sunday Ė dropped off movies, went to church, lounged around at home after eatingÖ getting nothing done. Until maybe now, if Iím good, Iíll do something useful after this. Weíll see. Well, this is useful, isnít it? Or is it? Meh.
Iím out of my Lithium Ė have been for a couple of days now. I take it for combating tendencies toward depression Ė and it does seem to level my mood. So I should probably get that one refilled, even ifs itís just the placebo effect, itís a good effect. And sooner rather than later Iím going to have to have my pinky on my right hand looked at. An injury that went away after I ignored it years ago came back in December and itís lingering this time, and its probably time that I got it fixed for good. My guess is that itís a fracture Ė and if so, it would be the closest thing to a broken bone Iíve ever had.