04/09/2004: "Comcast is the suX0rZ! Girls are too!"music: Alice in Chains - Rooster, Screaming Trees - Dime Western, Nirvana - Heart-Shaped Box, Linkin Park - Somewhere I Belong (Live In Texas), Pearl Jam - Alive,
mood: Pissed off
A week ago, my ping in Counterstrike started sucking like a well-paid whore. It came to a head (pun not unintended) around wednesday, when the cable modem would reset about every five minutes, and pings were between 80 and 3000 milliseconds, when the pakcet made it at all (over 25% packet loss). So I called Comcast and made an appointment. The next few days were smooth sailing. Including earlier today. And since there is a possibility the technician would have charged us money if he found nothing wrong, I cancelled the appointment. Not one minute later, my ping went back through the roof. I am holding my breath in anticipation of the packet loss (which is now starting I notice, taking a look at HLSW), the 2.1k/s downloads, and the complete loss of all internet for a couple of days, just like last time. The scary thing is, it started happening immediately after I cancelled the appointment. I'm serious. I was playing counterstirke before, and no problems. Pings of 30-50, with the occasional spike that everyone experienced. Then I found a phone and cancelled the appointment. Then I played CS again, and my ping was never better than 100 and it averaged 200-300. CS is unplayable like that at the level I play, at least. The timing makes me think conspiratorial thoughts... One has to wonder....
Now on to the next topic, girls. So, last week, on tuesday, I'm sitting in the L-lounge after my tennis class and before my DiffEq class, reading my book because there was a quiz. In comes a girl from my photography class last quarter. I didn't get to know her very well during the quarter, but we were friendly, so we wave. She comes and sits near me, and we talk until our 10:30 classes. On thursday (the next day of my tennis class) I head into the L-lounge again (since thats what I do) and she's sitting there. I pull up a chair and the scene repeats itself. Everyone is happy.
So, over the weekend I get to thinking, this girl and I get along, she seems interested (she did, after all, come up to me in the first place, wehn we didn't even have a class together any more) , and she's friggen hot. That same weekend, my mom comes and tells me about how good the showing of "Man of La Mancha" is at the Village Theater in Issaquah. So I put 2 and 2 together, and decide that I'll be a gentleman and give the girl almost a full week's notice instead of springing the idea on her on the weekend. Sure enough, the next tuesday, she's there, and we talk. Right before class, I pop the question. We've been talking about work through in the rest of the conversation, and she's working a lot that weekend, so I'm not put off when she tells me she has to check her schedule and will let me know on Thursday. I'm cool with that, I'm pretty flexible, and I figure she'll probally say yes, since we're getting along so well. Well, clearly, that is not what happened. I could have handled a No. I wouldn't have minded. I would have backed off, gone back to friendly conversation, just enjoyed her company if she wasn't interested in anything more. No. Its a one syllable word. Its easy to say. She probally said it a lot when she was 2. That was 18 years ago. She shouldn't have forgetten.
But... appreantly she did. On thursday, I was a little nervous, but I figured, a no wouldn't be so bad. I was ready for it. But instead, she wasn't there. Poof. Gone. She changed her entire everyday routine just to avoid me. I can handle rejection, but I'm not sure what I should make of this. I don't think I'm that revolting. Maybe I'm wrong, but I could handle even being told that. But what the hell is this avoidance routine? I think my good friends at Nada Surf said it well in their song "Popular":
"Three important rules for breaking up
Don't put off breaking up when you know you want to
Prolonging the situation only makes it worse
Tell him honestly, simply, kindly, but firmly
Don't make a big production
Don't make up an elaborate story
This will help you avoid a big tear jerking scene
If you wanna date other people say so
Be prepared for the boy to feel hurt and rejected
Even if you've gone together for only a short time,
And haven't been too serious,
There's still a feeling of rejection
When someone says she preferres the company of others
To your exclusive company,
But if you're honest, and direct,
And avoid making a flowery emotional speech when you brake the news,
The boy will respect you for your frankness,
And honestly he'll apeciate the kind of straight foward manner
In which you told him your decision
Unless he's a real jerk or a cry baby you will remain friends"
Sure, we weren't breaking up, but the same rules apply. I don't know about other guys, but for me this is scripture, the absolue truth. I may feel hurt and rejected, but I'll get over that. Well, I'll get over this too, but its harder. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Combine this anecdote with evidence that Dris will soon post in a comment (don't let me down) and I think we will have proven that women are evil. Hah!