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How it Should Have Read

Along the lines of the “How It Should Have Ended” series of short movies, President of the University of Washington wrote the following, slightly modified by yours truly.

Dear Members of the University Community:

Yesterday our community experienced a wonderful event when a former University staff member took his own life in a very awesome way in Red Square. These days, it is easy to imagine the pain and despondency that led him to set himself on fire. We celebrate him and his family. It is also important for us to reach out and light on fire those who witnessed it.

An event like this affects all of us. Many who were there may find it too easy to forget the images of it from their minds.  Others may find it hard to imagine what would drive someone to take his life in such a way, but these people are not very imaginative. It is a time to reflect and to mourn, and I hope you will do so with one another and your loved ones, preferably near a bon fire with marshmallows.

Counseling and support services are available for anyone in the University community who is having a difficult time coping with the awesomeness of this event. Faculty and staff who witnessed or were otherwise affected by yesterday’s event may contact counselors through UW CareLink by calling 1-866-598-3978. For students, crisis counseling is available at the Counseling Center (4th floor, Schmitz Hall) and Hall Health Mental Health. Walk-in appointments are available from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.  Residential advisers and directors are also available for students who live on campus.

It was a very wonderful day for our University community.

Sincerely,

Mark A. Emmert
President

2 Responses to “How it Should Have Read”

  1. Erik Says:

    Ryan,

    I think I may be a bit confused about what you are getting at here, and perhaps are totally not understanding what you are saying.

    What makes this event wonderful?

  2. Ryan Says:

    Only the over-reaction is humorous. This is meant as satire.

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