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Worse Than Spammers

Sunday, sometime between 1:00 and 3:00, my bike was stolen while locked outside of the UW Instructional Center (IC), where I was attending an organic chemistry study session. The walk back to the house was a needlessly long one. My bike was my primary form of transportation around the area, and it made getting to class on time possible for a guy who is always running late. It also made getting back to the house after class much quicker enabling me to make it to work on time. It was a good source of exercise and was a lot of fun as well. And now someone, for a few quick bucks, took all of that away from me.

3 Responses to “Worse Than Spammers”

  1. Dan Moretti Says:


  2. Daniel Marsh Says:

    This could be the pivotal event that turns mild mannered Ryan McElroy into a super-hero crime fighter! You could devote your every spare waking moment to hidding in the bushes next to bike racks (baseball bat in hand) just waiting for someone to dare steal another bike.

    Actually, if you are really interested in catching the guy, you could plant some honeypot bikes with poor locking mechanisms in places where they are likely to be snatched. You could contact campus security to find out some good prospective locations. You could then hide equiped cell phones in a bag, under the seat, etc. and watch where they go.

  3. Ben McElroy Says:

    What you need is a small improvised explosive and smoke device in the seat or the seat stem that activates when the bike is disturbed over a period of a minute . The device would be armed or deactivated by a “key” that connects to the device using a encrypted radio signal and PGP ID key. The shrapnel of the device would not extend beyond a 2 foot radius but would provide enough “hurt” to the would-be thieves to have them promptly seek medical attention (worst case scenario they loose a finger or an eye, best case they end up stunned on the ground with a inquisitive police officer asking what the he-double hockey-sticks they were/are doing.) The noise and smoke factor of this device would make even the most jaded officer of the peace come take a looksy. And thieves would become very wary of bike seats. If production goes into full swing, the device could easily cost as little as $50.00. I’d buy one for a $300.00+ bike. Nothing like the smell of scarred (and scared) thieves on a Sunday afternoon…

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