Checksum Arcanius

That right, folks, Ryan needs a new car!

May this day and this season bring lasting joy, peace, and gratitude.

And now, my favorite Christmas Hymn, What Child Is This:

What Child is this, who laid to rest
On Mary’s lap is sleeping?
Whom Angels greet with anthems sweet,
While shepherds watch are keeping?

This, this is Christ the King,
Whom shepherds guard and Angels sing;
Haste, haste, to bring Him laud,
The Babe, the Son of Mary.

Why lies He in such mean estate,
Where ox and ass are feeding?
Good Christians, fear, for sinners here
The silent Word is pleading.

This, this is Christ the King,
Whom shepherds guard and Angels sing;
Haste, haste, to bring Him laud,
The Babe, the Son of Mary.

So bring Him incense, gold and myrrh,
Come peasant, king to own Him;
The King of kings salvation brings,
Let loving hearts enthrone Him.

This, this is Christ the King,
Whom shepherds guard and Angels sing;
Haste, haste, to bring Him laud,
The Babe, the Son of Mary.

The cold weather as of late caused a pretty cool thing to happen tonight — the water in Drumheller Fountain at the UW froze over. However, this alone is not remarkable. What is remarkable is the sound that rocks skipping over the ice create.

Check it out (.wmv) [3.2 MB]. Staring Ryan with a speaking role and Christine with the rock-throwing role.

Of course, it’s even better in person!

Trust your intuition; you are usually right.

I participated in a grand adventure last night as I endeavored to pick up Kunlun from the airport. I-5 Southbound performed little better than a large, icy parking lot from about Qwest Field onwards. I slowly made my way to the exit from I-5 that, in normal circumstances, would have led me towards the airport. These were not normal circumstances, however, and instead of going to the airport, I quickly came to a stop, vaguely aware of some bus’s blinking lihgt ahead. After about 10 minutes of waiting, I decided to venture outside of my wonderfully warm vehicle to figure out what was going on. I donned my one glove (all that the thief left from my roadside emergency kit), and headed out into the cold. Up at the front of the line, the driver of a disabled-persons transport van was struggling to get out of the way of everyone else, having determined that his vehicle would not successfully navigate around the two buses that were at the side of the road. The buses themselves were at the side of the road because they slipped down the banked exit ramp as they attempted to navigate the turn. It took some doing, but about 10 of us were finally able to push the van out of the way of the rest of the cars. Then the next car attempted to go, and ran into the same fate. In fact, when we noticed that a Jeep had attempted the turn and failed, we decided that it was not our night to take this particular offramp. A short driver meeting later, and we decided that we were going to turn the whole line of cars around and get them back on to I-5, where they could attempt to reach Sea-Tac from the South.

So, three hours after setting out, I picked up Kunlun from the airport. The ride back home was considerably quicker: I-5 north was empty, and we were able to cruise along at 40-50 miles an hour. Really, we were the lucky ones. All night and even today on the radio I heard stories of people spending upwards of six hours in traffic — some even spending the night in their cars, with nowhere else to go on what they thought were roads but were really causeways of ice.

In the barren wasteland that is my dating life popped up an unexpected oasis. A girl from BioE, that major which we all know and love, has been turning up the heat recently. Usually, in my infinite wisdom and self-assuredness, I calmly ignore these things, an the girl moves on and we stay friends or drift apart, but the pressure is over and life goes on, unabated, unencumbered, and unattached. Or detached, depending on how you look at it. Well, this time it has turned out a little bit different.

This girl and I, lets call her Sally for anonymity’s sake, we went out to lunch yesterday. Thai food — it was good, and the company too. Despite being my dorky self (I don’t try to hide it), she didn’t seem dissuaded at all. So tonight, I invited her to the dinner I had planned with Alex, Courtney & company. We went to Firenze, an Italian Restaurant at Crossroads in Bellevue. Once again the food was good and the company superb. Although I’m sure Sally felt a little bit out of the loop when we got off on topics about our high school days, she put up with it well and gave me a nice treat to finish off the day — though how I handled it was less than superb, I assure you. It was unexpected, and I am not well practiced.

So thats one side of the story. The other side is the civil war that is erupting inside my mind over all of this. Representatives of the warring factions are:

1) I haven’t achieved a desirable level of comfort with Sally yet, where hanging out with her feels natural and relaxing. Now, I don’t know if this is simply because its been too long since I was last here, or if my gut is really telling me something important, or if I just need more time to get into the groove, but I’m not going to lie — I don’t have good vibes about the future right now.

2) Listening to these nagging doubts has certainly kept me out of trouble, but who is to say it hasn’t simply kept me out of the entire game? After all, avoiding crashing and burning can be a result of careful driving (and then not always) or, with a 100% success rate, by not driving at all. Considering my very high “success” rate as of late, and just being honest with myself, I really haven’t been in the game at all.

3) If I’m really this unsure, what are my obligations for remaining a decent human being to avoid hurting the other person involved here? This is not to say she isn’t coming into this knowing full well what she is getting herself in to — but still, I don’t want be here later knowing that I dragged this out when it really wasn’t going to work out, and I should have known better.

4) Finally, maybe all my reservations are only because I’m dumb and cowardly, and backing out now would be a waste of a wonderful opportunity. I’ll admit, for me, liking the girl who is already safely taken is a lot easier than liking the girl who is available, ready, and willing. The former means admiration from afar without overt action; the later means performance right here and right now. Maybe I’ve just built up such a resistance to this stuff that I think I don’t like someone as much just because they are available.

I want to think that just being myself, something will just work out. That it will be easy, seem natural, and everything will just operate smoothly and be simple and all that. But probably thats not how it really works. Probably this sort of thing is as close as it comes. Maybe I should embrace it. Or maybe I should run away screaming.

Decisions, decisions…

The best medicine I’ve ever found is giving thanks for all that I have.